another moral hangover. fuck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
