Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
