Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize