Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
