Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
