i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize