Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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