he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
