i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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