I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
