I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
