His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize