I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Houston, we have a blender
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
