My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
