Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
