I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
