oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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