Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
