you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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