was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just made my gag reflex go away.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
