omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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