pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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