the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
