I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
