i don't like sucking hair
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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