my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
