They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
