i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
