worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
