haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
