somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
