I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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