Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
