True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I enjoy the company of your penis
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize