420 ftw
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
