i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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