you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
whose parrot is this?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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