I'm gonna have a badass scar
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
