I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
