I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
