I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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