I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
