just come out here and I will go home with you...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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