is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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