is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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