It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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