Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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