She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize