there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
