He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
home. puking in laundry basket.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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