it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
COCAINE IS GR8
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
