i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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