so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
