Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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