dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
