Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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