I want to stick my p in your. b.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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