He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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