and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
