my phone needs a breathalizer
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
