I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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